I have learned through many years of experimentation that you are not able to force people to love or like you. No matter how much sweat and tears you give – not friends, not lovers, not people you think are cool, not people you might consider hooking up with – you just can’t force it.
My life has been interesting the last few years. It required a lot of “Me Time”. I was unable to devote as much of myself to people as I once was able to and frankly it pissed many of my friends off. Because of my life changing I have lost three friends. Important friends. People I would have called sisters three years ago.
It is eye opening to see who is left standing in your life after the cutters come through. I learned a lot about who is worth the effort.
To you three, I say goodbye. I did what I could while I could and it was never enough for any of you. All anyone ever wanted was more more more and I tried tried tried. But I am tapped. Empty. I have said my goodbyes to you all. There were responses or not. And none of that matters because in my mind the book is closed and THE END is on the last page.
I should have spoken up and told all of you how I felt years ago but I was never brave enough. I have always held on to people even after the expiration date because I am afraid of being alone. I was wrong to do that and should have realized we all outgrew each other years ago.
There is nothing wrong with breaking up. None of us have anything in common. We have different dreams, goals, lives, responsibilities. And honestly I don’t think we all even like each other. I think we are habits.
It’s not me, it’s you.
Just kidding. It’s us.