I have come to realize that no matter how varied the ages, how educated the women, how wonderful they each are individually, if you get a group of vagina’s together there are going to be problems. I don’t know why but it is almost like when there is too much estrogen it heats to a combustible level. I have no clue what kind of dumb ass man would want to be a polygamist.
It may be the same with men. I know women get a bad rap in the gossip arena because some of the most notorious gossips I have ever met had penises. But as for the intimate group dynamics of a group of men – I don’t know – I am not a man.
But I can tell that there is a volcano of underground drama brewing in Beauty School. Between dragging around the bookbag, getting yelled at by teachers and gossip in the lunchroom it is almost like High School (only at Beauty School have a hobo camp behind the school).
There is not one single person I have met there that I haven’t liked. There are some I didn’t like to begin with but eventually every single person has grew on me. It is a good group. I don’t even dislike the dreaded Ms.S. I wish she would be nice to me but I guess I am just going to have to play “Kill Her with Kindness” and smile at her every time I see her. So far I have never had that not work.
But that aside, my point is that you can’t control what others do or say. If they laugh with or laugh at you. The most you can do is be in control of, and be proud of, your own actions. Often I believe that people think I am stupid because I make stupid jokes. That they confuse kindness with weakness.
But I know I could kick their ass in Trivial Pursuit any day of the week and that I am harder than most people would guess.
And honestly, I just don’t care anymore. To whom other than God do I need to prove myself?
There was a time in my life when I worried every second of every day about everything. I had to take Xanex for anxiety and I always thought people were talking about me. But sweet Jesus, if people talked about me as much as I used to think they talked about me no one would ever talk about anything other than me and honey I am just not that interesting.
I wake up in the morning. I take my shower and spend 30 minutes putting my hair in a ponytail. I drive to school and I try to enjoy my day. And damnit, I usually do. I may laugh at my own jokes. I may have an odd sense of humor, but if I were to be stranded on a desert island for the rest of my life I know one thing for sure – even by myself I would have a good time : )